facebook: A Parent’s Guide

For most parents, the digital world that kids immerse themselves in can seem like a mystery. Since most adults did not grow up with the Internet, it is hard for us to grasp just how much kids rely on it for social interactions. Young people use the Internet to stay connected to friends, develop social networks and explore social roles. In addition to communicating and connecting with people of similar interests, social networking sites like Facebook fundamentally serve as an “identity workshop” where many kids explore who they are, how they relate to others and how they want to be perceived.

In most social interactions, kids have plenty of adult models to help them learn how to relate to others. However, the situation online is very different. Many kids are interacting in web environments without any adult direction or guidance. Websites like Facebook can offer young people a fun and effective way to express themselves and connect with friends. However it is critical that, as the adults in kids lives, we teach them to take special care of their personal information and guide them on how to use Facebook appropriately and ethically.

How does Facebook work?

The name Facebook refers to the school albums in many of the U.S. colleges. Here “facebooks” are passed out to students as a way to get to know other people on campus. The Facebook website originated as an environment for students but quickly grew to accommodate other users. By September 2006, anyone with an e-mail account could join the social networking site.

When people register with Facebook, they begin by joining a network. Networks can include geographic locations, schools or places of work. Most young users belong to their school network. Some networks are huge. For example, the Toronto network has approximately one million members. It is crucial for young people to limit their privacy settings on Facebook so only their friends can view their profile. Otherwise everyone in their network will have access to their information.

Members on Facebook have their own profile page where they can find and add friends, write notes, add photos, join groups, and add any one of thousands of other applications.

When members log in to their account, they access their home page. The home page features a News Feed – a recent history of the activities of the user’s friends. A member’s home page also indicates other account activities such as messages received, wall posts (a public message board on each user’s profile) and pokes from other Facebook members. A poke is a virtual tap on the shoulder.

Facebook users can also create or join groups to connect to people with similar interests. Groups display information, photos and message boards where users can post comments. Users can invite their friends to join and send reminders about upcoming events. For young people, groups can provide opportunities to be active for political or social causes, and present ways to connect to the global community.

Facebook popularity

Facebook is the sixth most popular website, with more than 65 billion pages viewed per month. More than half of the active users of the site return daily, spending an average of 20 minutes on the site.
Facebook is particularly popular in Canada. Canada is the fastest growing user of the site, with more than seven million registered Canadian members. It is estimated that Canadian participation has grown so significantly that roughly one in three Canadian Internet users now has a page on the site.

For kids, a social networking site like Facebook is an integral part of their social lives. Friends are extremely important for young people and having hundreds of “friends” in your network can be a status symbol.

For a generation raised in a celebrity-obsessed “American Idol” culture, Facebook is attractive because young people can create their own celebrity. The availability of cheap digital cameras for capturing self-pictorials and the ease in which photos can be posted to their profile is a perfect fit for a generation comfortable with public self-exposure.

Photos are the most popular application on Facebook with more than 14 million uploaded daily. More photos are posted on Facebook than on any other site on the web. Facebook also allows users to post comments on the photos and tag other members who are in the picture. The photo application also notifies friends when a member adds new pictures.

What are some of the potential concerns for parents?

1. Privacy

Facebook makes it very easy for members to post personal content on their profile, such as pictures, name, date of birth, contact information and other personal details including school, interests and favourite things. Adults need to help kids understand why posting personal information may put their privacy at risk. Kids need to recognize how to protect themselves by not sharing too much information. For example, kids don’t need to include their last name when an initial will do, any friends searching for them will still recognize them. Also kids should know that they should never include details that would make it easy to locate them in real life.

Young people need to use the options offered in the privacy settings. Members can restrict their profile so only their friends have access, hide their profile so that it does not show up in searches, limit parts of their profile to specific people, and block someone completely with whom they do not want to have an association.

Parents should remind young people that once content is posted on the Internet, they no longer have control over it. Other people can access it, copy it and post it elsewhere. Their information can be online in some form potentially forever and deleting information doesn’t necessarily mean it’s gone. Often social networking sites keep all information on backup servers and reserve ownership of the content posted on the site.

2. Harassment

Another risk for kids is exposure to bullying and sexual harassment. Parents need to establish open communication about online use and talk to kids about how to use technology ethically and what to do if they encounter online harassment. Sometimes kids feel reluctant to tell a parent about harassment because they fear the parent may revoke the child’s computer privileges. Young people need to know that if they encounter any problems they should immediately stop the social interaction and tell a parent.

3. Time spent online

Many parents are concerned that their children spend too much time on the computer. Sites like Facebook can be very time consuming. Children should have rules in place on how much time they spend on Facebook. Like most things, balance is key, and although developing online social networks can be beneficial to a child’s social development, it shouldn’t be a replacement for real life social interactions.

4. Inappropriate content

Parents should note that there is the potential that kids may come across content that can be considered offensive or obscene. Parents should let kids know that if someone posts an inappropriate comment on their profile or picture they should delete it immediately. Also parents should review their child’s list of groups and the types of applications they included in the profile since some of these can be adult in theme.

Be proactive

While it’s easy for parents to be intimidated by technology they did now grow up with, it’s important for parents to be proactive when it comes to Facebook and other social networking websites. Following the tips below will help parents to help their kids get the best out of Facebook, while protecting themselves and their privacy.